WEEK 4

No practice this week! Plant a tree!

In Honor Of

So this week was kind of rough for me, and I spent much of last night in tears. But two things happened today that really changed my perspective on things.

1. At my grandfather's funeral, this verse was read:

Psalm 73:23-26

23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

I. LOVE. THIS.
It reminded me that the things of this world just don't matter that much. God is ALWAYS with me. He is ALWAYS in control. Even I, myself, can't mess up His plans. And when I focus on him, all the daily troubles just aren't a big deal anymore. It's beautiful.
I especially love verse 26: That when our hearts fail us, GOD is the strength of our hearts. WOW.

2. I was driving, and was whispered by the Big HS to listen to "Lord, I Don't Know" on my IPOD.
These are the lyrics:

You are the author of knowledge
You can redeem what's been done
You hold the present and all that's to come
Until your everlasting kingdom

Lord, I don't know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt

You are the God of tomorrow
Turning the darkness to dawn
Lifting the hopeless with hope to go on
You are the rock of all salvation

Lord, I don't know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt

Oh, Lord, you are the author
Redeeming what's been done
You hold us in the present
And all that is to come

Lord, we don't know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead us to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt

Beautiful. As I listened and sang that song, it was like God saying, "It's okay. I know. You don't have to know. I know."

Anyways, I guess my point is- God is cool. Give Him praise.

Now, I just want to pay respect to my great grandfather, Frank Spriet.

My great grandfather really was a great man. I remember him always building boats, and houses, and helicopters and all kinds of crazy things. My favorite thing he ever built me though, was a scroll attached to a wooden wheel that has all his favorite verses on it. As you turn the scroll, the next verse shows up. I think I will spend the next few days reading them.
My gpa lived 95 years, and never ONCE went to a doctor. Now THAT is amazing. I remember one time he got a huge cut, and literally took a needle and thread and sewed himself up! I am glad he is happy and in heaven with his son and wife. I love you Grandpa Spriet.

With joy,

-Amy Grace

What's Going On??

So often when bad things happen to us, we say, "What did I do to deserve this?" But I think I ask this question even more strongly when I am blessed. When I have the Lord's love, joy, and grace showered upon me. "What did I do to deserve this?" The answer is, nothing. I don't deserve it. That is the beauty of our unfathomable God. I love Him.

I am sitting here, in the middle of a dry, hot, desert. Yet, before my eyes an oasis of life is overflowing right in front of me. I wonder if, before Palm Desert became a tourist spot, what people must have thought of it? Was it worthless? Too dry? Too barren? Now, people flock here and see it as a luxury. It's such a metaphor to me of the times we go through deserts in our lives. They seem so dry and empty, but really, if we look past first appearances, those deserts can actually be Oasisis.

My sister moved out when I was seven years old. I have no memory of her leaving, although I remember her before and after she left. I loved my sister. I still do. I always coveted other people and their siblings, and wondered how my friends could resent their brother or sister when I thought they were lucky to have one at all. I knew I had one too, but she was so far away and distant from my life. For thirteen years I have prayed that my sister would come back home; that I would have the fullness of my family back.

Last night, my sister, who is no longer a heroine addict, who has not taken any anxiety pills this week, yet has more joy than ever, went with my family to church. She worshipped, she cried, she enjoyed it, and it was one of the most beautiful things I haver ever seen.

Tonight, my dad, a man who in his youth was going to die a drug addict if not for the saving hand of God, a man who comes from a broken family, decided to mend his. He took my mom, sis, and I to a diamond jewelry store and bought us all rings with our birthstones. He then sat us down, and told each of that he loved us and explained why we are special to him. He confirmed my mom as a beautiful woman, something her own alcoholic father never did, and he told us that our rings symbolized two things: 1. His never ending love for us and 2. The re-birth of our family. This is all coming from a man, who my whole life grumbled about spending more than $5 on me!

This week I have witnessed many miracles. I am receiving the honor of being a witness to God's miraculous hand as a healer. A lover. A father. I get to SEE it.

Hope is never lost. It has taken my father thirty years to release the pain of his childhood. It has taken my sister thirteen to return to her family. But it HAPPENED. God is faithful. God keeps His promises. My sister will be flying back to Wisconsin on Sunday, but with a changed heart and an intent to return back to California.
My heart is also changed.
Praise be to the Lord. I love Him.

I saw "Underdog" today, and in the movie everyone wants to meet underdog because he is their savior. I thought, "Man, I get to PERSONALLY know my Savior, and that is amazing."

Joyce Meyer + Hillsong + Delirious + LA + God = Me =)

First off, thank you sooo much for praying for my sister! I appreciate the phone calls, messages, prayers, etc. I have the most awesome friends. We called Laura a few days ago, and she is actually going to fly out here in a few weeks! She cried a lot on the phone, and she seems really open to changing. My parents and I all really strongly feel like God is going to do something. PLEASE keep praying!

I went to the Joyce Meyers Conference at the Staples Center today, and not only was her sermon AMAZING, but Hillsong lead worship, AND Delirious?, my favorite band of all time played tonight! My goodness God was all over that building! It was FANTASTIC! AND, over 1,000 people got saved! Praise the Lord!

So... as I like to do.. here are some of my favorite things Joyce said today:

"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for a good man to do nothing."

"Ignorance is the Devil's playground."

Dave Meyers was talking about the importance of understanding what is going on in our Nation, and voting, and actually taking a stand for what's right, and I couldn't agree more! I feel so grieved that I really don't know a lot about the US, and what is going on, and I never really cared much for politics, but I do think it is so important to vote and get our voices heard! Our nation was once founded on God, and we need to fight to keep it that way!

"We are event-oriented people, when we need to be a way-of-life oriented people."

"You must be comfortable with not-knowing."

THIS I love. So often we try to figure out what we're gonna do.. what will we do with our life? What job? Who will we marry?
It's OKAY not to know. Seek God, and he will show you what you need to know at the right time.

"You can't enjoy today if you are trying to figure out yesterday or tomorrow."

"Staying mad at someone who doesn't care that you are mad is pointless." haha

"Nothing reveals the character of a person more than when you give them power, influence, and money."

"We need to draw a line and stop moving it every time it becomes inconvenient."

"We're gonna stand before GOD, not EVERYBODY."

"Don't ever want anything TOO much. Want God and God alone."

"You can lust for more than just sex. Lust is wanting something so bad that you think you can't be happy without it. Don't you know that God gives the ones who seeks him the desires of their heart?"

"If you will give your pain to Jesus, he will give you double blessing."

"You may have had a bad beginning, but you can have a great finish."

"No Devil in hell and no man on earth can keep you from your destiny if you remain determined."

"Don't spend your life wishing; make a decision."

"Your worst day with Jesus will be better than your best day without him."

Here's the beginnings of a song I wrote while there:

Let the rich attain more wealth
Let the healthy gain more health
Let the famous be well-known
But I want God and God alone

Give the businessman success
Let the weary find some rest
But with God my soul is blessed
I want God and God alone

He is better than riches
More costly than gold
So lovely and holy
On him I am sold

I love you Jesus
I love you Jesus
I love you Jesus
I want God and God alone

**********************

I believe in you and love you, friends!
With joy,

-Amy Grace

I have a cut, but I also have a band-aid =)

Well, today at work I meant to cut bread and instead cut my thumb. The cut is pretty deep, but I can't get stitches because it's on the nail. As I went to practice guitar, I realized, man, the thumb is so valuable.. I had no idea!

I was listening to a song by The Fray called "Look After You," and there's a line that says, "What's mine is yours." I was thinking that wow, that's how it is with God too. Just like in marriage, where you share your home, dreams, finances, etc.. God shares His things with us, and wants us to share ours with him. I think WE definitely get the better deal though! haha. It's funny how we think offering our WHOLE lives to God is so hard, but that's exactly what he did for us.

I saw "Hunchback" at Lifehouse, and I really like when the Hunchback gives Esmeralda a bird in a cage, and he says, "Look! This bird is in a cage, but he still sings because he knows someday he will be free. And even though he knows he doesn't belong in the cage, he knows one day he will be release into the world he was created for, and that is a good reason to sing." Just as we are not meant for this world, but rather for heaven, the hope of one day getting our freedom is reason to sing on earth.

I saw "Evan Almighty." I REALLY liked it. It reminded me that sometimes God asks us to do things and we don't know how to do them, or what we're doing them for, but we still have to do them, and God always comes through and tells us exactly what and how to do it in HIS timing, giving us knowledge as we need it, step by step.
Even, as I felt a calling from God to go to RHS 5 years ago, and I didn't want to, but did solely out of obedience, when I graduated I thought, "Why the heck did you make me do that?" But now, years later, I see why, and I am so amazed and thankful.
In the movie, each of the characters prays for something. Evan- to change the world, his wife- for their family to grow closer together. etc..
But when Evan actually begins to build the ark, Joan, his wife, thinks he is crazy and leaves him. Later, while at a restaurant, God, (in human form) talks to her and she tells him about her problems with Evan. God says, "Didn't you pray for your family to grow closer together?" "Well, yes," she replies. God says, "Well, a lot of times God gives YOU the OPPORTUNITY for your answered prayer." When people ask God for courage, does he just give them boldness, or does he give them the OPPORTUNITY to become bold? When we ask for love, does he give us warm mushy feelings? Or does he bring us a person who is difficult to love so that we can LEARN how to TRULY love? In Joan's case, she wanted her family to be closer, yet SHE was the one who LEFT instead of standing by Evan. Wow. That is amazing. So next time you pray for something, see if you can stand up to the opportunity to get that answer!

I can't help but laugh at life. Yesterday, Andrew's dad was asking me about my future plans, what I was gonna do after I graduate, if I am coming back to Redlands...etc... Peter, Michael, and I were trying to make all these plans for our production company.. and as a cast we were brainstorming writing more Fables and making a theme park and all sorts of crazy ideas. And I thought, seriously, I could be happy just performing Fables the rest of my life with these people I love so dearly, but the truth is, I can't answer that question about my future, and I am totally okay with it. God has not told me anything specific to do after I graduate, so why make set in stone plans? From what I know of God, he will totally change my plans for something better anyway! I think we should have more rest and trust God to take care of our future. It is so easy to get worked up about things we don't know, but the author or yourself, the past, AND the future has it all beautifully written out, and we just have to read the pages, one at a time ;)

I love you and believe in you. Thank the Lord for beautiful friendships.

With joy,

-Amy Grace

Warrior Princess

I think that when our pursuit of dreams becomes so chaotic that we can't even stop TO dream anymore, it is a sad thing. I want to stop, look, and listen. I want adventure, and I want to rest. I want to laugh, and I want to cry. I want to accomplish, and I want to fail. I want to live, and I desperately want God.

I was reading "Captivating" at the CA Adventure lodge. Great atmosphere- highly recommend it. Although "Wild at Heart" is in my opinion, better, here are the excerpts I liked:

"We were made to be part of a great adventure. An adventure that is SHARED. We do not want an adventure merely for adventure's sake, but for what it requires us FOR others."

"God wants to be loved. He wants to be a priority to someone. From beginning to end, the cry of God's heart is, 'Why won't you choose me?' It's amazing to me how humble, how vulnerable God is on this point. 'You will find me,' says the Lord, 'When you seek me with all your heart.' (Jer 29:13). God wants to be wanted."

pg. 38 "Beauty says, 'All shall be well,' And that is what it's like to be a woman at rest, comfortable in her feminine beauty. She is enjoyable to be with. She is lovely. In her presence, your heart stops holding its breathe. You relax and believe once again that all will be well."

pg. 38-39 "Beauty invites, nourishes, comforts."

pg.41 "Mystery means something to be explored. It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, and to search out a matter is the glory of Kings. (Prov 25:2)."

pg. 41 "God does not throw himself on any passerby. He is no harlot. This is crucial to any woman's soul, not to mention her sexuality. You cannot simply have me. You must seek me, pursue me. I won't let you in unless I know you love me."

pg. 45 "Somehow, somewhere between our youth and yesterday, efficiency has taken the place of adventure."

pg. 48 "Men, just when we need them to come through for us... check out. They disappear, go silent & passive. And women? We tend to be grasping, reaching, controlling. We believe that in order to have the life we want, we must take matters into our own hands. And we ache with an emptiness nothing seems able to fill."

pg. 57 "Little indulgences or bad habits are what we give our hearts away to instead of giving them to God."

pg. 58 "A woman's worst fear is abandonment. Rather than turning back to God, reversing the posture that brought about our crisis in the first place, we continue down that path by doing what we can to secure ourselves in a dangerous and unpredictable world."

pg. 75 "The wounds you have received have come to you for the purpose from the one who knows all you are meant to be and fears you."

pg. 84 "Satan fell BECAUSE of his Beauty."

pg. 86 "Most marriages and long-term dating relationships reach this sort of unspoken settlement. 'I'm not coming any closer. This is as far as I'm willing to go, but I won't leave, and that ought to make you happy.' And so there is this sort of detente, a cordial agreement to live only so close."

pg. 91 "You are passionately loved by the God of the Universe, and you are passionately hated by his enemy."

pg. 96 "Jesus has to thwart us- thwart our self-redemptive plans, our controlling and hiding, thwart our way when we are seeking to fill the ache within us. Otherwise, we would never fully turn to him for our rescue."

pg. 97 "And so you will see the gentle, firm hand of God in a woman's life, hemming her in. He'll make what once was a great job miserable, if it was in her career that she found shelter. He'll bring hardship into her marriage, even to the breaking point, it it was in marriage she sought her salvation. Wherever we have sought life apart from him, he disrupts our plans, our 'way of life' which is not life after all."

pg. 103 "Forgiveness is a choice. It is NOT a feeling, it is an act of will."

pg. 113 "As women we long to be loved a certain way, a way unique to our femininity. We ling for romance... this doesn't need to wait for men. God longs to bring this into your life himself."

pg. 113 "Faithful obedience to God is vital, but it is not all God draws us to. It is not sufficient for our healing, no more than doing the laundry is sufficient for marriage."

pg. God says he will thwart our efforts to find life apart from him. He does this in order to wear us out, get us to turn back to him in thirsty longing. Then he begins to woo us. He often takes us aside from every other source of comfort so that he alone can have our heart's attention."

pg. 125 "To pursue intimacy with Christ, you have to fight for it."

pg. 127 " To be spiritual is to be busy. To be spiritual is to be disciplined. To be spiritual is to be dutiful. NO. To be spiritual is to be in romance with God."

pg. 129 "To experience the strength of a man, is to have him speak on our behalf. For when men abuse with words, we are pierced. When they are silent, we are starved. But when they speak with us, hear us, offer their words to us, and on our behalf, something in our hearts is able to rest."

pg. 132 "Women are creatures of great mystery, not problems to be solved, but mysteries to be enjoyed."

pg. 135 "A woman of beauty knows that we live in a world of war, that we have a vicious enemy, and our journey is through a broken world. But she also knows that because of God, all is well, that all will be well. A woman of true beauty offers the grace to be and the room to become."

pg. 140 " The scariest thing for a man is to offer his strength in situations where he doesn't know if it will make any difference. Or worse, that he will fail. A man's basic sin is his choice to offer his strength only in situations where he knows things will go well."

pg. 142 "Jesus offered like no other and many rejected him. In those moments or seasons when that happens to us, God's invitation is to bring our sorrow to him. Not shut down with 'I'll never try that again,' but to keep our hearts open and alive, and find refuge, healing in his love."

pg. 143 "Women who are stunningly beautiful are women who have had their hearts enlarged by suffering. By saying "yes" when the world says "no." By paying the high price of loving truly and honestly without demanding that they be loved in return. And by refusing their pain in the myriad of ways available. They have come to know that when everyone and everything has left them, God is there."

pg. 153 "We cannot love Adam while we are looking for him to validate us. It will usher in too much fear, If he's the verdict on us as a woman, we won't be able to truly or freely offer him our beauty. We'll hold it back in fear. Or, we'll give ourselves over to him in inappropriate ways, desperate for attention. And we won't be able to confront him and stand up to him when he needs THAT from us as well."

pg. 154 "The beauty of a woman is what arouses the strength of a man."

pg. 163 "Mary, Rahab, Ruth, and Tamar were all single women when the story of their greatness was told. They are such powerful reminders that this greatness, this beauty, can be lived out as a single woman." (AMEN!)

pg. 164 "Be careful that you do not offer too much of yourself to a man and that you have good, solid evidence that he is a strong man willing to commit. Also, does he have any close male friends? and what are THEY like as men? Can he hold down a job? Is he walking with God in a real intimate way? Is he facing the wounds of his own life and is he demonstrating the desire to repent of Adam's passivity or violence? Is he headed somewhere with his life? A lot of questions, but your heart is a treasure and we want you to offer it only to a man who is worthy and able to handle it well."

pg. 182 "Redeemed Eve is being met in the depths of her soul by Christ and is free to offer to others, free to desire, and willing to be disappointed."

pg. 196 "Much of what God allows in your life is not for you to simply accept, but TO GET YOU TO RISE UP! God wants you to know how to wield the weapons of warfare, how to take a stand, how to fight."

pg. 216 "You have only one life to live. It'd be best to live your own."

pg. 217 "Whatever your particular calling, you are meant to grace the world with your dance, to follow the lead of Jesus wherever he leads you. He will you first into himself, and then, with him, he will lead you into the world he loves and needs you to love. By invitation."

Halleluier!!

Okay, I'm sorry, but I have to do some serious God boasting.
So these past couple of months have been financially the worst ever in my life. My dad had been helping me pay rent during the school year, and he stopped in April, and with my only working 2 days a week (which ended up being more like one, cos Chuck E. kept randomly not scheduling me) I basically stopped eating/ate the cheapest food possible and stopped doing anything that costs money because EVERY dollar had to go towards rent! It was very difficult. I felt unhealthy from the bad food, anytime my friends wanted to go out, I couldn't pay, (Granted, they all paid for me because they love me, but I felt so bad & am going to do something nice for ya'll who did soon!), and ALL my birthday money had to go towards an apartment that I'm not even living in! My selfish side (which would be all of me haha) was very sad because I kind of wanted something for MYSELF for my birthday too =(
Now, yes, I could have asked mommy and daddy to help so I could at least buy groceries (and they are kinda mad now that I didn't tell them), but I really wanted to be responsible and pay for my own consequences.
But I kept praying and tithing and trusting God.
I thought things would get better when summer hit and I could get a new job/have more time to work. I wanted a waitressing job because they make tips, and it would triple my income, but I don't have experience, and every place I applied to only would offer me a hostess position. I finally decided I needed ANYTHING, so I took one at Famous Dave's. Worse decision ever. Not only did they not pay me for my training, but everytime I would show up, the trainers and managers wouldn't be there and I'd have to wait around for ever. It was really chaotic too, and I was having to memorize ounces of ribs and details about the history of the company that seemed completely irrelevant. Since my managers wouldn't show up when I was suppose to work, they'd send me back home, meaning no money working that day, so I decided to look for another job. I ended up finding another hostess position at Coco's.
I daily prayed for favor at the restaurant and for the mind of Christ to remember my responsibilities, and after 4 days, they made me a server! Now that is something that usually takes months, and I know it is not because of my ability, but because of the grace of God! Today was my second day serving on my own, and I made $95 in tips!! I got in my car and started crying in just total amazement of how God takes care of his children. AND, yesterday my Aunt sends me a $100 check that apparently my gpa wanted me to have for no reason at all! Now I have enough money for rent, & to pay off a decent amount of my credit card. I am SOOOO thankful and amazed right now, I can't even express it fully.